AITAH for telling my mother that I’m not playing replacement parent to her kids anymore?

A dimly lit living room buzzes with tension as a young woman faces her mother’s pleading eyes, the weight of unspoken expectations hanging heavy. For years, she’s juggled chores, schoolwork, and sibling squabbles, stepping into shoes far too big for a sister. Now, at 23, she’s drawing a line—refusing to play “mom” any longer. Her mother’s voice trembles with exhaustion, but the demand feels like a chain, tethering her to a role she never chose.

The clash isn’t just about dishes or curfews; it’s a battle for her own future. As her mother leans on a mysterious “godfather” to guilt her back into line, she stands firm, craving a life beyond the family’s needs. Readers can’t help but wonder: is she selfish for breaking free, or is this her moment to finally breathe?

‘AITAH for telling my mother that I’m not playing replacement parent to her kids anymore?’

Family dynamics can feel like a tightrope, and this young woman’s story teeters on the edge of duty and self-preservation. At 23, she’s spent years raising her siblings, only to face accusations of selfishness when she steps back. Her mother’s plea for help clashes with a hard truth: expecting a daughter to parent isn’t fair.

This scenario screams parentification—when kids take on adult roles too soon. The mother’s exhaustion is real, but leaning on her daughter as a co-parent blurs critical boundaries. The siblings, now teens and young adults, are capable of responsibility, yet the mother’s resistance to discipline suggests a deeper reliance on her daughter’s labor.

Dr. Lisa Damour, a psychologist, notes, “Parentification can rob young people of their childhood and burden them with guilt for wanting independence” (The New York Times, 2021). Here, the daughter’s push for freedom isn’t rebellion—it’s survival. Her mother’s claim of being “too tired” echoes a broader issue: single parents needing support. A 2023 Pew Research study found 30% of single mothers report high stress from juggling work and parenting, often without resources.

The “godfather’s” involvement adds a manipulative twist, dismissing her mental health needs. Her two-week absence likely gave her clarity, yet the guilt-trip response shows a family stuck in old patterns. Broadly, this reflects how society often expects young women to sacrifice for family, ignoring their own goals.

For solutions, she’s right to set boundaries. Moving out, as some Redditors suggest, could solidify her independence—Job Corps or similar programs might help . She could also propose a family meeting to assign chores fairly, easing her mother’s load without carrying it herself. Therapy, if accessible, could untangle years of resentment. Readers, how would you balance family loyalty with personal freedom in her shoes?

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