A 20-year-old college student has been the lifeline for his 23-year-old sister, whose world shattered after a devastating miscarriage in 2022. Five months into her pregnancy, she lost her baby—her boyfriend vanished soon after—and depression took hold like an unshakable weight. For over a year, he stepped up, covering bills, cleaning, cooking, and holding her together long after their parents had given up at the seven-month mark.
But as time passed, she remained stuck—bedbound, smoking heavily—while his own financial stability crumbled. Last Friday, desperation spoke: “Get a job or move in.” She exploded, calling him trash. In a moment of sheer exhaustion, he snapped back: “I don’t care about your dead baby—I did this for you!”
She lunged, he left. By morning, their parents chastised him for his harsh words, but his mother quietly revealed a twist—his sister had started job hunting. Now, guilt gnaws at him. Was his outburst cruel, or was it the push she needed?
‘AITA for telling my sister that idc about the baby she lost?’
This Redditor finds himself torn between compassion and exhaustion—his sister’s loss is undeniably heartbreaking, but his financial and emotional reserves are running on empty. For over a year, he’s been her lifeline, covering bills, cooking, cleaning, and even funding therapy sessions while she remained trapped in grief.
But last Friday, his patience snapped. His plea for her to find a job or move in was met with rage, and in a moment of pure frustration, he fired back: “I don’t care about your dead baby—I did this for you!” A brutal statement, but one that seemed to trigger action—she’s now job-hunting.
The intent wasn’t cruelty; it was desperation. Studies show that 20% of pregnancy losses lead to prolonged grief (March of Dimes, 2023), making her struggle understandable. But therapist Dr. Grief McCall warns, “Tough love can jolt, but words cut—aim for push, not pierce” (Grief Recovery source). He’s NTA for enforcing boundaries, though his delivery made this a soft ESH situation—siblings clash, but this one stings deeper.
A reset may be the best path forward—acknowledging the hurt, opening a conversation, and possibly steering her toward professional support. The question remains: was his outburst justified, or did it cross the line?
